Stress is contagious. The human condition is an interesting paradox: when we feel the pain of others, our empathy causes us to take on their stress.
It is especially important to remember this when helping friends in difficult times. Although we may have good intentions, the process can be costly to our well-being. This article will help you navigate these changes while helping others.
How to stay healthy while helping your friends
You may be good at helping your friends who are anxious, or lending a listening ear to them after a tough day. But don’t overlook your own mental wellbeing.
1. Don’t overestimate your ability to give
This doesn’t make us bad people. It doesn’t mean we are bad people. All of us have a limited amount of mental and/or physical energy.
This phenomenon is often explained by the spoon theory. Imagine you have 10 spoons. You give spoons to others as you do tasks or activities. You’re going to overexert yourself if you try and give a spoon when you don’t have any left.
There are days when you will run out of spoons and can’t help a friend. You will have days where you can’t help a friend because you don’t have any spoons.
By being upfront, you can do two things. You will ensure that your mental health is protected and your friend will be encouraged to create a larger support network. You can easily change the level of your support if you want to. You will have to take a step back at times. Being honest will help your friendships remain healthy.
2. Establish boundaries with your friends
We are often people-pleasers who have trouble recognizing what we really need. It can be difficult to say “no”, but boundaries are essential in all friendships.
It is best to know your limits and express them. This will help you avoid anger or resentment. This is also a great way to stop further boundary pushing, which can make saying no even more difficult.
